Aries Man and Scorpio Woman Compatibility
But if I had been a weak man,” he said. “Good heavens, if
I had been a weak man!”
Might I make a helpful astrological suggestion for the Ram who is on the verge of becoming involved with a Scorpio female? Get a copy of Ibsen’s Hedda Gabler, and read it between the lines. Hedda was clearly a Scorpio woman, and the descriptions of her sometimes incomprehensible behavior will prepare him for all possibilities, even though the lady Eagle he loves may be a somewhat more average Scorp, with more subdued Pluto Power. It’s only sensible to be prepared for the worst, even if you expect – and actually receive – the best. Forewarned is forearmed, and it never hurts to be forearmed with a Scorpio. As for the unfortunate Hedda herself, she’s admittedly an extreme example, yet an interesting study for Eagle watchers. Her cool, quiet, mysterious feminine mystique is punctuated by sudden, violent frenzies, which are puzzling, to say the least, coming from such a normally gentle, self-contained woman. Her nice, easy-going Taurus or Pisces husband is at a complete loss when it comes to comprehending her emotional needs. Then along comes a clever, worldly chap , undoubtedly an Aries, who thinks he has mastered this woman, plumbed her depths and dominated her with his masculine superiority. When she finally kills herself, all the confused man can manage to murmur is that “people just don’t do that sort of thing.”
Scorpios do. They can do all sorts of either strange and frightening or weird and wonderful things – and they never warn you ahead of time what they’re up to.
Granted, as I’ve already noted, Hedda is an exaggerated image of the Scorpio woman. The average Pluto-ruled female probably won’t climb to such heights of ecstasy, or plunge into such wells of despair as the unfortunate Hedda. But even if she only lets the air out of his tires when he won’t let her drive his car, or casually cuts his telephone cord when he calls another girl, a Ram who’s aware of the Scorpion tendency toward secret revolt, followed by sudden retaliation, will find life with this girl considerably less traumatic.
It’s her secret revolt, more than her sudden retaliation, that could cause the tension between these two lovers. An Aries can be driven wild by an act that, although easy enough to forgive in itself, is the result of a premeditation unknown to him. Since she’s inclined to be secretive when she’s not in action, her inexplicable surges of angry revenge can infuriate him. Rams do not like unpleasant surprises, and they simply can’t stand not to know secrets. Normal outbursts of temper he can handle, with the experience born from his own stormy impulses. But she didn’t give him the slightest hint that she was going to burn up his new Adidas jogging booties, and starch his favorite jeans. At breakfast, on Monday morning, her voice was cool and calm, her eyes burned into his, expressing their usual intense devotion, and her goodbye kiss was as passionate as ever. How was he to suspect he’d return home that night to a pair of charred sneakers and stiff Levi’s? And all because he told her on Sunday he didn’t feel like taking her to the movies, because he wanted to hike in the woods, with some old buddies from college he hadn’t seen in years.
How DARE she sock him and shock him with a surprise maneuver like that, retroactively? He’ll show her a thing or two! But by the time he’s ready to show her a thing or two, she’s not watching his fiery scene, because she’s already reverted to her silent aloofness. She’s turned off. Detached and disinterested. Also uninterested.
Scenes of this sort can rattle a Ram to the roots of his horns. What she’s done outrages him, simply because it sneaked up on him in such an .. . well, in such an outrageous way. Add to that her talent for cooly turning off, before he can even fight back to defend himself, and you can see why he may gradually become an aggressive, frantic shadow boxer, hitting out blindly, and never getting the satisfaction of landing a victorious punch (symbolically) on his lady Eagle’s (also symbolic) jaw. To so surprise him, after he’s already blithely forgotten the incident that infuriated her, then retreat, and refuse to even notice him or listen to his angry sputterings, is not a pattern of behavior calculated to win all the confrontations in the final tallies – for her. She might lose the last hand of her bridge game by losing him.
Actually, if the Ram will just let her win, or allow her to believe she’s won, he’ll save a lot of wear and tear on his ego, through bypassing fruitless emotional conflicts with this woman, which are destined by the stars to lead absolutely nowhere. It’s really the only way to get along with a lady Scorpion – simply permit her to satisfy herself that she has repaid the hurt or slight she’s suffered from you, then say no more about it. One of his finer rewards for such emotional control and maturity, will be her gradual and certain, deeper respect for him. Since the fighting pattern just described is the absolute only one Scorpio recognizes, it’s the only one powerful enough to keep their relationship on an equal basis. As Grandpa used to say, “You can’t fight City Hall” (truer even today than in Gramp’s day, in both its literal and symbolic sense). She holds the trump card – self-control. The proper way to handle and keep a woman like that is, obviously, not to lose your own control.
He can always remind himself, during his more discouraged moments, that this woman is as loyal to the man she loves as she is determined not to allow him to step on her Scorpion tail. When a lady with a Scorpio Sun Sign, Moon Sign or Ascendent falls in love, her friends, her family, her career, reputation, her suffering – all count for nothing. She won’t hesitate for a second to openly show her scorn for anyone who threatens to stand in the way of their happiness together, to cast a shadow on their love or to harm her man in any way. A devotion of this level of intensity should make it easier to overlook the manner in which she occasionally manipulates their personal squabbles against him. Rams need to be loved all the way – or not at all. And that’s precisely how Scorpio loves. All the way – or not at all.
An Aries man who has only recently become emotionally involved with this girl (let’s say this woman – Scorps are never girls, they were all born women) may think the foregoing is an unjust summary of the character, traits and personality of his dearly beloved. That’s because he was picturing the retaliatory attacks, followed by instant withdrawal, which were just described, as a kind of black-widow-spider operation. So, how could a female with such a whispery, throaty voice and gentle, feminine ways, be a closet black widow spider? She is not, of course. That’s the point. Her Pluto revenge tactics needn’t resemble something out of a vampire movie. She’s not the Bride of Frankenstein. She’s simply a sweet, rather shy lady, who has her quiet moments, and who is sensitive.
After they’re married, he’ll learn. He’ll receive a fast astrological lesson, when he tells her – “I wish you’d go to the beauty parlor and let them style your hair, before my business partner [my boss, my agent, or whatever] and his wife come here for dinner tonight. The way you’re wearing it now is so dated, and very unbecoming.” (Aries rules the first astrological house of personal appearance, and Rams are really quite vain about their own looks, and the looks of their loved ones. Almost as much so as Leo.) The Scorpio woman won’t scream at him in rage, because her glamour has been criticized. She’ll just smile sweetly and say, “Of course, darling.” She’ll still be a perfect angel of womanhood when he arrives at home that night, accompanied by Mr. Grumple and his bejeweled wife.
His Scorpio mate’s voice will be velvety warm and sensual when she whispers to him in the bedroom, “Sweetheart, you explain to the Grumples, won’t you? I have a dreadful headache, and I’m just not up to meeting anyone tonight.”
“You what!” he shouts. “How can I explain this to them? They’re out there in the front room waiting to meet you, and you’re still in your nightgown, and you haven’t even started dinner? This could ruin my whole future! Do you realize what you’ve done to me?”
His rage has not the faintest effect. She has already closed her eyes and placed the ice bag on her head, still smiling sweetly, leaving him to cope with his hungry guests alone. You see? Not like the vampire movies at all! Just a nice lady, with a headache, who’s terribly sorry she’s causing him such embarrassment. (Next time, he won’t insult her hairstyle.)
The Aries man is competent and courageous when he’s involved in a situation he can understand, but he lacks the ability to successfully oppose the type of reasoning that goes over his head. It will bewilder him when she refuses to fight him with weapons of his own choice, but it will also have the long-term effect of subduing him, which can result in a growing emotional maturity. Although loving and living with a Scorpion may be a little bumpy, it will mellow the Ram’s fiery personality and open his eyes to his Martian faults of selfishness, rashness and impulsive speech, like no other experience he’s ever had before. If he really loves her, there’s much she can teach him – and he, likewise, her.
In 1970, in California, I met a fascinating Scorpio woman, who had just separated from her Aries husband. (He was a surgeon, a typical Mars occupation, although a not very evolved or enlightened one.) Neither of them knew enough astrology to understand, and therefore to tolerate, each other’s natures. But I got the impression they might still be in love, and I hope this book is published in time to help them get back together. Her marriage taught her at least one astrological lesson she’ll never forget. (Scorpios always profit from experience.) “Men cringe when they meet a Scorpio,” she told me. “They think we’re all deadly and dangerous. So now, when they ask me my Sun Sign, I just flutter my eyelashes and tell them I’m a Pisces. It works like magic!”
There’s no telling how many November girls are running around out there pretending to be Fish – but you’ve been warned. It’s a shame astrological ignorance makes such a disguise necessary. Scorpio women, if properly understood, are beautiful people, with an unsurpassed tenderness and an enormous capacity for love.
The sexual attraction between an Aries man and a Scorpio woman is instant and magnetic, and can be permanently fulfilling. Their physical relationship will never be indifferent or casual. Sex, combined with love, is a basic formula in the Scorpio search for personal salvation, the same kind of glory the Ram seeks to satisfy his misty ideal. He must conquer sexually, and she’ll allow him to do so, but she won’t be passive, she’ll meet him more than halfway in erotic expression. Her intense response to his lovemaking blended with her willingness to submit to him physically, represents the ultimate in ecstatic union to this man, who seeks a real woman, never a quiescent partner, yet neither a dominant mate who will try to overpower him. In his secret heart, he is the original, virile, yet pure and innocent Adam – in her secret heart, she is the original, tempting and mysterious Eve. Unless one of them has a serious Mars
or Venus affliction in the natal chart (which, with these two, can lead to various forms of sadism or masochism), there will be no doubt at bedtime who is man and who is woman – and, with all due respect to Women’s Lib, that’s the way it was intended to be by our co-Creators. A Scorpio female can’t forgive being badly loved, in or out of the bedroom, and she may occasionally, if he’s unthinkingly wounded her, use a denial of sexual Oneness against him as a revenge weapon, which is a large mistake on her part, since it may very well turn him into an insecure, and therefore selfish, lover. He should establish his mastery from the beginning in the area of physical passion.
Scorpio is compelled to violate the unknown, in order to know, then knowing, keeps the secret. Aries plunges in recklessly, to discover truth and happiness, then shares it enthusiastically and openly. This is an essential difference between them, which can be bridged only by mutual trust and forgiveness each time it appears. When he displays his emotions carelessly, he may create pain in her heart she’ll find hard to forget, and although her outward response to his Mars fireworks may simply be a soft-spoken – “Aren’t you over-reacting, darling?” – there’s no determining what may be occurring within her, behind her cool mask. There’s only one answer to a question like that.
“No, I’m not over-reacting. I am just being me. I was born under a different star than you, and I have to express my feelings. Don’t you want me to be true to myself?” Yes, she does. She may never reveal it, or admit it but she does.