Aries Woman and Gemini Man Compatibility
“You won’t forget me … will you, before springtime comes?”
Of course Peter promised; and then he flew away.
There are Aries women and Gemini men who hold hands lightly and skip down the street together like children. There are other Aries women and Gemini men who have sarcastic, furious verbal donnybrooks from the time they awake until they go to bed – and they both talk in their sleep too. Often, the emotional blending of Mars and Mercury in a love experience produces a strange alchemy of haunting tenderness, punctuated by sharp hurt, making the relationship capable of both triumph and disaster. It may be because Gemini, unlike the other two Air Signs, verbalizes both his admiration and his contempt so clearly and unmistakably. Or perhaps it’s because Aries, unlike the other two Fire Signs, is consumed by the passion of the moment, whether it’s love or hate, never thinking about tomorrow’s possible regrets.
This 3-11 Sun Sign Pattern is quite distinctive in its influence over two people linked together through its friendly, and very communicative, vibrations. There’s no doubt they’ll quarrel occasionally, even frequently; yet their more tempestuous arguments will contain the seed of spring, and fresh promises for the future. Their misunderstandings are extremely verbal, and often quite loud, but somehow, not too serious. It’s almost as though they’re both aware of the potential of a truce in the midst of the battle.
These two might accurately say of themselves….
some people love with restraint
as if they were someday to hate
but we hated gently, carefully
as if we were someday to love…*
There’s very little restraint in the love between Aries and Gemini. When the Ram and the Twins fall in love with each other, neither will waste time wondering if the end of the affair, or the marriage, will be blissfully happy or achingly sad. The initial attraction between them, the magnetic pull of their carefree natures, causes both of them to reach out toward each other trustingly, with no worry about a far-off ending. If it should eventually occur, in whatever form – separation, divorce or death – the memories of love as naive, exciting and as full of blind faith as a child’s heart on Christmas Eve, will soften the edges of the recollection of any sorrow or hurt they’ve mutually suffered. That’s the beauty of the 3-11 vibration, in which genuine friendship forms the foundation for the empathy, from the very first hello.
Jealously can be a large troublemaker. The typical Aries girl is as jealous as it’s possible for a woman to be, without turning solid green, and she’s seldom able to recognize it rationally. It doesn’t stem from a possessive nature but from the Arian symbolic Infant’s terrible fear of rejection (which would mean literal death to an infant) and need for constant reassurance that it (she) is cherished. The undue Aries concern over losing love to another is more understandable when it’s viewed in the light of these subconscious feelings of infantile helplessness and total dependency upon continued and uninterrupted affection. It’s a feeling that’s always present, just beneath the bright Mars bravado of independence and self-sufficiency which is not real in any sense, only make believe … . a kind of protection against further vulnerability.
The typical Gemini man is not excessively jealous (barring some VenusMars affliction in his birth chart, or an Aries Moon or Ascendent). And this is where most of the difficulties may lie. Because, you see, she secretly would like him to be. The least he can do is pretend he is. Whether she consciously realizes it or not, the girl Ram rather enjoys arousing the jealous instinct in her man. It reaffirms her importance to him, a matter that can’t be reaffirmed too often for any Aries. The Gemini male may oblige her, by granting her wish, if she steps out of line too obviously. But most of the time he’ll be too busy changing his clothes, his moods, his ideas, his dreams and his disposition to pause long enough to stop, look and listen to any innocent flirtations she’s flaunting at him in the hope of warming up his cool, detached and airy approach to life – and to her.
Conversely, he won’t have to flaunt any flirtations in front of her to bring on a bright green explosion. Saying good morning too intimately to Apple Annie at the corner newspaper stand will suffice. Considering his love of freedom and his phobia concerning emotional shackles that curb his natural gregarious activities, a little of that will go a long way with a Gemini man. Although she must learn to somehow either control or hide her jealous fears (if she doesn’t want to lose him), he must also learn to sympathize with her motivation for such behavior – an inner fear that she lacks enough femininity to keep him faithful (if he doesn’t want to lose her). There has been so much propaganda over the years about the slinky, sexually seductive, feather-brained, soft and sweet type of bunny-kitten “every man yearns for,” you can’t blame the Aries woman for developing a neurosis about her quick mind, her direct approach to love and her lack of sneaky female guile – especially since she was born under the influence of a masculine Sun Sign.
She has courage and initiative, she’s energetic and ambitious – all allegedly masculine traits. Men believe they have the market cornered on those qualities. Haven’t you been reading the Women’s Liberation pamphlets? (The Aries woman may very well be the leader of the ERA group in her community.) What’s a girl Ram supposed to do to be considered feminine – read Marabel What’s-Her-Name’s book, The Total Woman, and total herself by just sitting around murmuring “You’re wonderful, darling,” and never do anything on her own? That’s just about the size of it, according to Marabel and all the male chauvinists. Skimpy, isn’t it?
Oh, I suppose she could do other things to retain her femininity, like wash, iron, cook, diaper babies, shop for clothes, gossip, iron, wash, cook, have babies – am I repeating myself? Sorry, I was beginning to get bored. As an Aries myself, I’ve never understood why a girl must be labeled “pushy” just because she knows her own mind. If most men prefer a Stepford Wives type robot to a real woman, that’s their hang-up. Aries females, along with their Sagittarius and Leo sisters, sometimes rival the “male chauvinist pigs” by being rather blatant “female chauvinist sows” themselves. Such feminine gender animals do exist.
Now, why did I write that? I’ve given the quick-witted Gemini men a new verbal weapon. My apologies to Ms. Steinem, whom I greatly admire, but it is true, Gloria, and you know it. Please don’t be offended, because I’m one too. That is, I believe anything they can do, we can do equally – and some things better. No need to list the latter. We all know what they are. Oh, you don’t? Well, for heaven’s sake – patiently and tenderly providing a gentle garden for babes to grow in for nine months, being able to bear pain at a higher threshold than men, possessing the common sense and esoteric logic to know that war never solved anything, and being able to sense danger and evil, long before they appear, are just a few of our superiorities over the masculine essence. We’re also more sensitive, intuitive and psychic, certainly more compassionate – yet far more realistic than men. But not quite as sentimental. (You didn’t know that men are secretly sentimental? So much so that they’ve taught women to see the poetry and beauty in Life too.) It’s all right for the female chauvinist sows to be aware of their own areas of both equality and superiority regarding the masculine sex, but they should also recognize the areas of a man’s equality and superiority regarding womanhood. That’s what makes true femininity and true masculinity.
With her innocent faith in miracles, it’s destined that the Aries woman someday discover a man who’s looking for a real woman, and he could be a Gemini. This man may have two heads, and twin desires, but he also possesses a driving need to be able to play mental chess with the woman he loves. Not for Gemini the serene siren who gazes up to him in silent, palpitating passion, because it’s easier than trying to match wits with him. He definitely falls in love with his mind first. His heart follows after, then his physical desire. Romance usually proceeds in just about that priority order with the Twins. As for the Aries woman, the order is only slightly changed. She falls in love first with her heart, her mind follows quickly after – and, finally, her physical desire. The initial patterns are switched, but that’s not as important as the fact that they both end up on the same frequency, in its proper place – last, after mental and emotional affinity has been established. It’s an amazingly successful formula.
Because he’ll appreciate the constant mental challenge of the Aries girl (Aries rules the head, Gemini the mind, among other things), she’ll eventually learn to trust him to love her for what she is. Then she may show him what she’s allowed no other male to discover – that she can be genuinely sweet and tender, with a man who proves he’s her superior in some ways, while making it clear at the same time that he also admires her for her own qualities, which are equal to his, some being likewise superior. It’s a complicated juggling act, but a Gemini man can pull it off, if anyone can. His natural charm and glibness (some people call it blarney) can keep her Mars vanity and ego appeased – and he can certainly handle any kind of verbal debate she cares to start. She may start quite a few.
She may have difficulty in adjusting to his typical Gemini habit of lateness. She’s often a little lax in that area herself, but Rams have a rather selfish way of being outraged when they’re forced to swallow their own medicine.
A Gemini man was once three hours late for an appointment with me. Anticipating his excuses (one of the benefits of being an astrologer) I wrote a little verse about him while I was waiting.
I’m sorry I kept you waiting
look, don’t cry… it was only an hour or two
couldn’t you find something to do?
I would have, if I had been you. *
When he finally arrived, he read it, and exclaimed, “Oh, wow! How did you know exactly what I was going to say?” The Aries girl who’s in love with this two-headed, twin wonder of dual desires and actions should carefully study the difference between the word “gregarious” and the word “unfaithful,” and note that there is a difference. She should also study the meaning of the two words “freedom” and “love,” and comprehend that, to a Gemini, these two words are synonyms. It will help to cut down on the arguments.
As for their physical compatibility, he’s one of the few men who’s capable of creating the illusionary quality this woman must associate with sex. She idealizes the sexual expression of love into a colorful, layered fabric, woven from every book she’s ever read, every movie she’s ever cried over and every shining hope she’s ever held deep inside her heart. She’s convinced that bells should literally ring at the moment the two of them become one. With him, she may actually hear them, because his imagination can supply all the fantasies she needs to fulfill her romantic Cinderella dreams.
This sort of empathy is what causes them to initially fall in love, sometimes at first sight (neither Sun Sign is noted for slow action). But later, it may take more than fantasies to keep her love burning brightly, when his Gemini detachment fails to satisfy her total concept of sexual expression, which is not purely imaginary. She also needs the tangible. She may begin to feel there’s always a tiny part of himself he holds back, even during their intimacy, and she could be right. She holds nothing back, with the Aries instinct to give completely of herself. The Mars inclination toward direct action is seldom diluted in the giving of passion – or in the exchange of it. He may fail to arouse in her such natural (for Rams) physical impulses, with his airy approach to lovemaking. Then she might feel that faerie stories are empty, when there’s no fire to set them ablaze, and become bored – or, much worse, frigid.
It’s a delicate area of adjustment, and the relationship will have a better chance for success if the Moon and/or Ascendent of his birth chart is in a Fire Sign. Otherwise, he may not be able to teach her what she’s so enormously capable of learning, after her initial inhibitions have been overcome by his idealistic preliminaries. The Gemini Prince can kiss the Aries Princess awake, but she may fall back asleep again if total passion is lacking, without ever really knowing why. Then Aries Fire can turn into Aries Ice, which is a sad waste, considering the warmth she can so generously give when the complete potential of her fiery nature is encouraged to develop.
During one of their games of mental chess, when he’s behaving in an impossible manner, she might try saying: “I realize that you believe you understood what I just said, but I’m not sure you caught what it was I didn’t intend to imply, for fear you might misunderstand what I believed you thought.” If it confuses him, she can say: “Good. Now you know what it’s like to talk to yourself – or rather, to yourselves. Both of you.”
She might also leave this book around near him, open to this chapter, to remind him of how dull his life would be now if she hadn’t streaked across his heart. But she should curb her impulse to hand him the book directly, and order him to read it immediately. Cinderella would never do that.