Aries Woman and Virgo Man Compatibility
He was so much the humblest of them, indeed he was the
only humble one, that Wendy was specially gentle with him.
When anyone describes an Aries girl as pushy, bossy, emotional, impulsive, impractical, and impossibly immature, the Virgo man who has loved her will nearly always disagree. He didn’t find her to be any of those things.
To him, she was a lot of woman – perhaps too much woman for him to handle – but he remembers her as direct and honest, fresh and innocent. “She was generous with her time and money,” he’ll say. “She shared my idealism about love, taught me many things, and treated me gently and kindly. She may have been a little hurt or jealous occasionally, but she never created any really violent scenes. She was always willing to talk it over with me – to listen to reason. And when we made up after a minor quarrel, she made me believe in happiness all over again, like the very first time. She was gentle, affectionate – and eternally young.”
When he finishes that nostalgic speech, his companion will probably ask, “Are you sure she was an Aries?”
Yes, she was an Aries, ruled by Mars, the planet of war and aggressive action. But an Aries woman surprisingly often will show her softer side, her hidden femininity, and her deep latent capacity for unselfish love to a Virgo. When she finds a man who’s kind and considerate, a man who admires her courage and her bright mind, who seldom competes with her, who teaches her tenderly, sympathizes with her faults, and has faith in her dreams – she trusts him with her whole heart. Her hidden Aries insecurities and secret fears of inadequacy melt away, and with them, the need to assert herself forcefully, in the mistaken belief that to conquer is to win – in love, as in war. The necessity for combat disappears when the total love she seeks so desperately is given to her as a gift, purely and completely, as Virgo love is always given, with no strings attached.
Then why didn’t it last? Virgo’s instinctive fear of matrimony. Since the Aries woman is unable to see patience as a virtue and expects all her wishes to come true instantly, the second she says “abracadabra,” she may lose heart (perhaps too soon), run away in tears, and eventually convince herself it was only a lovely friendship. Strangely enough, that’s just what a broken love affair between these two frequently becomes after the scars have healed. Thanks to Virgo’s inbred courtesy and gallantry, there are fewer bitter memories than those which usually linger after a shattered romance between other Sun Signs.
Still, sometimes love does last forever between Aries and Virgo, and when it does, Life can be very beautiful. There will be a few shadows scattered throughout the sunlight, however, and they’ll have to be faced realistically, not emotionally. He’s willing to face anything realistically, without self-deception, but she may need some help. (In fact, she may need a lot of help.) But if she should succeed, she deserves more credit than he does. A Virgo man finds it easy to analyze a situation, spot the flaws, reach a compromise, and clear away the confusion. He really doesn’t deserve much praise for doing what is so instinctive, what comes so naturally to him. The Aries girl’s natural reaction to a problem is to first slam it with a hammer, then butt against it with those Ram horns, hoping to demolish it. If that doesn’t work, she’s ready to sit down and discuss the pros and cons of it, but the pros may be all on her side – the cons on his. Therefore, if she can learn to face a misunderstanding with a cool temper and a rational mind, she deserves the kind of appreciation reserved for those who accomplish the nearly impossible.
All those memories of the girl Ram that the Virgo man we discussed before still retains in his neat mind were formed when their love was new. If the affair had lasted longer or developed into marriage, she may have seemed to him a trifle less like an angel. He might also have seemed to her a few inches shorter than a saint. Most of the squabbles between Aries and Virgo will blow hot and cold over his urge to criticize her. If he’s truly analytical, he’ll soon realize that, with her, he’s safer when the wind blows hot than when it blows cold. As I’ve counseled repeatedly, there’s more to fear from Aries ice than from Aries fire. The latter soon burns itself out. The former can shock the astrological novice, when the Aries woman stops crying “wolf and cries “good-bye.” Once she’s gone she’s not likely to look over her shoulder to yesterday. The freedom of today may be far more exciting to her than the fast-fading recollection of past heartache. It has been said that Rams never learn from burning themselves on a hot stove. They’re always ready to touch it again. Perhaps. But not necessarily the same stove. That’s worth remembering.
Back to the criticism. True, he has secret ways of convincing her that his criticisms don’t mean she isn’t loved. But loved or not, she won’t be happy when the list of her shortcomings is longer than the list of her talents and virtues. If he wants a tranquil relationship with this woman, he’ll learn to appreciate her taste and cleanliness in creating an attractive home, and refrain from peeking under the sink to see if she’s polished the drain on the garbage disposal – or poking into the closet to see if she’s scrubbed the shelves. She probably hasn’t. Someone else can do all that. Like him. Or a maid.
She could also have a habit of spend now – pay later – which may bring on periodic spells of Virgo nervousness. Pouting in the corner, nagging, or hiding the credit cards won’t work with Aries. The best solution is to let her get a job and squander her own money.
The combination of Aries and Virgo is a 6-8 Sun Sign Pattern. Among other things, this means that devotion, service, and working together will always be part of their relationship. It also means something which may come as a surprise to those who don’t understand astrology – a strangely compelling sexual attraction. She represents sexual mystery to him. He represents to her the kind of sexual relationship she can trust. Somehow, despite the basic differences in their natures, these two may enjoy a rare compatibility of physical desire and expression. Perhaps it’s born of the essential innocence and purity of intent the symbolic Infant and the symbolic Virgin bring, in an esoteric sense, to their lovemaking. Or it may be their mutual belief that sexual union is the ultimate blending of a man and woman’s deepest yearnings, bringing their bodies, minds, and souls together in a singing unison of purpose and mutual tenderness. It could be this woman’s directness, the simplicity of her approach to intimacy, that appeals to the Virgo man’s innate honesty – or his unselfish consideration of her needs that touches her so tenderly – and the fact that his latent passion can be aroused only with someone who joins him in the desire to raise physical love to a higher level than a casual erotic encounter or a brief pleasure.
Whatever the reason, the sexual relationship between them is usually a strong force, often resulting in the kind of emotional peace and physical fulfillment that makes it easier for them to tolerate the differences and tensions in other areas of their togetherness. With Aries and Virgo, sex is a renewal of hope and rededication to each other. In most Aries-Virgo unions, the Virgo man will feel that the Aries female is all the woman he’ll ever want or need. The enthusiasm of her spontaneous passion nearly always deepens his basic earthy instincts. But she may sometimes feel that he’s not spontaneous or involved enough in passion, and she may lie awake beside him on more than one night, wondering to herself if this is all there is to love. Somehow, she hoped it would be more like her daydreams, more stormy and wild and abandoned. She adores his gentleness and consideration, but she may wish occasionally he’d make her feel really truly conquered and overpowered – like Heathcliffe and Cathy on the moors.
The girl Ram must comprehend that the Virgo man she loves is frequently driven, by the combined forces of his foster ruler Mercury and his true, as yet undiscovered, ruling planet Vulcan, to commit himself to the mental gymnastics of the moment – and pursue a thought to its conclusion. When she accuses him of neglecting her at these times, he won’t understand. His busy mind has been busy meditating on amoebas, splitting and popping into the air as they reproduce themselves. At a time like that, to be pulled back to the reality of manwoman love can annoy him. She’ll resent his detachment, and her instinctive urge to employ the fiery Mars method of demanding that he pay attention to her can create some unpleasant scenes between them. He’ll intensely dislike being boxed in by her insistence on direct answers. Especially when he’s immersed in one of his frequent spells of deep-blue depression and futility.
At these times, the only way to handle him is to pretend she doesn’t even notice his gloom and sadness. She should make a conscious effort to remain cheerful herself, totally curb her own sensitivity to neglect – and concentrate all her concern and sympathy toward him, not herself. She should suggest happy things for the two of them to do .. . and talk about positive plans for the future. But quietly and sparingly – not in a running streak of conversation, which will only drive him deeper into mental seclusion. He doesn’t need chattering when he’s worried and won’t tell her what it is that’s troubling him. He needs to know she’s there, that’s all… that she’s somewhere near, singing or humming .. . confidently going about her business in the background. It gives him a feeling of security.
Even if he turns a deaf ear toward her suggestions to go somewhere and refuses to budge under her gentle urging to change the scene, he’ll gradually come around if she doesn’t press him. Once is enough for any suggestion. If he doesn’t pick up on it.. . wait for a while. The one thing he doesn’t need during these Virgo worry sessions is the third degree .. . or the added burden of seeing the woman he loves in tears because his silence and detachment have caused her to feel neglected, and therefore sorry for herself. Self-pity is the very worst thing the girl Ram can allow herself to indulge in when her Virgo man has temporarily retreated from her, mentally and emotionally. Patience, gentleness, tenderness, and just being there if he should need her .. . these are the ingredients of the subtle alchemy guaranteed to bring the twinkling stars back to shine again in his clear, calm Virgo eyes.
She should stop finding fault with him (Aries is quick to imitate, and may pick up the Virgo critical syndrome after a time) and instead count her blessings. This man will seldom interfere with her freedom by imposing unnecessary restraints and restrictions on her activities. (This is wise of him, because she’d do her own thing anyway, through sheer resentment at being told how to behave, where to go, and what time to return.) But there’s no denying that the sometimes sharp and satirical words of the Virgo male can deeply wound this woman in the sensitive area of her self-confidence. Also, he may not be as demonstrative as she’d like him to be – not in relation to their sexual intimacy, but in their day-to-day communication and contact.
Demonstrative affection does not flow easily with Virgo and may have to be deliberately cultivated if he wants to keep her, because the tangible expressions of devotion (the small touching things, such as bear hugs, a kiss on the cheek, a meaningful wink across the room, or an unexpected tight handclasp) are a deepseated need within her. If these constant reassurances of love are missing from their relationship, her belligerence and defiance will grow in direct proportion to the degree of her emotional starvation.
The Aries girl is gregarious, affectionate, and demonstrative. It hurts and worries her when the man she loves makes it clear he’d rather be busy doing other things without her now and then. But he needs many more moments alone than most other men, for without them, his Virgo crankiness, nervousness, and irritability can increase. Although it won’t be easy for the girl Ram to really understand her Virgo man’s frequent need for privacy and solitude, she can comfort herself with the thought that this man is far less likely than any other Sun Sign to hurt her by flirting with another woman when he’s not with her. Like Aries, Virgo usually falls in love for keeps. Yes, I know love that lasts forever is rare enough to be a miracle. But if you expect a miracle, you’ll find it every time.