Cancer Man and Capricorn Woman Compatibility
“Won’t you play me to sleep,” he asked, “on the nursery
piano?” and as she was crossing to the day-nursery he
added thoughtlessly, “And shut that window. I feel a draught.”
A Cancerian male, whatever he may tell you, however much he may deny it, solicits and enjoys being babied and fussed over, and could at times take advantage of the Capricorn girl’s strong sense of responsibility. Cappy will try hard to please the man she loves, without complaints or self-pity, but if he requires her to lean too far over backward to cope with his changing moods she’ll balk, no matter how much she loves him.
In all fairness, both of them can be more than a little selfish. At first glance, no two people appear less selfish on the surface than the Crab and the Goat. He is normally gentle, considerate, and courteous, almost old-fashioned in his attitude toward women, especially toward his own woman. She is, in a way, his possession, and Crabs value their possessions highly. Nonetheless, he may demand a great deal more than he gives on occasion, expecting every sniffle and every cranky spell to be lullabyed and rocked away, and if she won’t do this, she just doesn’t love him, that’s all – at least, not as much as Mother loved him.
If she’s a typical Capricorn, she’s probably rather quiet and demure, even self-effacing .. always willing to help out in a time of trouble. (Goats are truly superlative in a crisis. Emergencies are their specialties, and bring out the very best in their characters.) Still, she won’t allow herself to be used beyond a reasonable limit, not even for the sake of love. She’s sharply aware of all her human rights, and refuses to be anyone’s doorstop. For all her attractive and soft feminine ways, she has a strong mind of her own. This is not a lady to flutter her lashes and hint about anything. What she really wants, she will either ask for directly – or go after, tooth and nail. What she likes, she will simply take, what she dislikes, she will remove from her life, in short order. There’s nothing pliable or submissive about her. She doesn’t noisily struggle against things which upset her. She just tunes it out, then takes care to avoid the person or situation, sometimes permanently. In this attitude, she is much like the Scorpio woman, except that the whole thing takes much less emotional toll of her in the process than it does of the Scorpion, who is always deeply affected, never mind what doesn’t show.
The Capricorn woman is not unduly sensitive, and so she may have to be careful with the Crab, because he is unduly sensitive, and quite easily hurt. He’s not nearly so thick-skinned as she is. If she should criticize or seriously contradict him, he usually won’t let the matter rest until she “takes it back,” tells him she loves him, and confesses that he has no real faults as far as she’s concerned. He’ll first try cajoling or being humorous, making little half-hearted jokes about it, then he’ll turn to stronger hints, and as a last resort – pouting. He’ll have all sorts of reasons to offer to defend his position, for this man will not rest in peace and calm until there is some sort of agreement after a quarrel. If she allows it to go too far, he’ll retreat into his shell, and no compromise is possible. Crabs hang on tenaciously to arguments and to their own opinions, as they do to most everything else.
But he’s a gentle man, and will blossom under the slightest praise and encouragement. The Capricorn woman who loves him will have to keep reassuring him, until he has no more need to force her to admit what a grand person he is, and how she adores him. Mother did this, you see. She was always telling him what a good boy he was, and how his enemies didn’t really understand him. In extreme cases, he’ll translate this to mean that anyone who doesn’t agree with him is his enemy, even the woman he loves. He wants the same understanding treatment as an adult he received as a child. It’s not terribly unreasonable of him. Wouldn’t we all like to be understood? The difference is that most of us give up on it early in life. The Crab expects it as his due, and never gives up seeking it. Respect. Understanding. Love. Affection. Appreciation.
The typical Capricorn woman is not an expert at this sort of thing. She’s practical and sensible; she feels he should know she loves him, and that if they disagree once in a while, it doesn’t mean she hates him. Excessive sensitivity and extremes of emotions make Cappy uneasy and nervous. It isn’t that she has no heart, she just doesn’t quite know how to react, exactly what to do or say – and she’s afraid of doing the wrong thing, so she would rather do nothing at all than to hurt him unintentionally.
She’s too modest. She has an efficient mind to aid her in finding answers where others fail, along with a reliable ability to concentrate and meditate on a problem until it’s solved, and usually her judgment is sound. So she should try a little harder to apply these talents to her emotional situations. It would make life in general a lot easier for both of them.
His need for her approval and appreciation isn’t an impossible obstacle between them. It just requires less sensitive pouting from him, a little more tenderness and compassion from her. Of course, if the truth be told, she needs to be appreciated too, but never in a trillion years will she admit it – and certainly never request it. The Crab is no more an expert at giving pats on the head than Cappy, because he never had to appreciate Mama or pat her on the head – he just accepted the goodies, which, I suppose, is why children will always take advantage of doting parents. The very best gift these two can give one another is an extra hug or kiss, a few extra kind words – more frequent smiles. They both need attention equally, the only difference being his lack of bashfulness about asking for it, and her reluctance to either confess to or openly display any undue emotional needs of her own.
The Capricorn woman is inclined to be rather plain as a girl, growing visibly more beautiful as the years pass, one of her ruler Saturn’s rare, but solid rewards. Along with her beauty, however, comes a very hard head (also a gift from Saturn). She is no mere fluff of feminine fancy. This girl is fortified with fortitude – and lots of it.
The Crab is inclined to be shy as a young man, growing more confident and sure of himself, and developing a marvelous sense of humor as the years pass. He’s loaded with charm, he has a soft way of speaking, and a softly soothing manner – yet his mind is quick and clever, and he, too, possesses a very hard head. It’s been said that Cancer has a soft heart and a hard head (which is surely better than a hard heart and a soft head!) but that the Capricorn woman’s head and heart are both rocklike. That’s not fair. Whoever said that probably tried to put something over on this lady, and she wasn’t buying his blarney. Her heart is a woman’s heart, but she’s learned not to wear it on her sleeve, where it’s susceptible to every blow. Could that be because it’s so very vulnerable to hurt? Yes, it not only could be, but it is.
There’s no denying that wisdom, caution, and self-protection are the Capricorn female’s inheritances from her ruling planet, Saturn, but she is, for all that, a woman… with all the feelings, all the dreams and longings of a woman. Femininity needn’t be synonymous with culpability. She possesses a timid (therefore, ultra-appealing) sort of sentiment, the kind which is all the more touching because it’s not indulged in casually. It’s not phony, but very real, and comes from her also very real heart.
Cancer and Capricorn take their physical closeness as seriously as they do everything else, yet it’s hard for them to let on to each other what their intimacy really means to them. They don’t quite know how to say that their lovemaking causes them to take more notice of all kinds of beauty. She’ll say simply, “Look at the way that sunbeam touches the top of the pine tree. I can almost smell the needles from here. Shall we take a walk?” – when what she really means is….after we’ve been close, I feel so special, and the world looks so much brighter.
He’ll reply only, “Yes, let’s take a walk. You’re right. It is a beautiful morning” – when what he’s really saying is, you’re beautiful… I love you. Their physical relationship, especially if their Sun-Moon aspects are harmonious, can be rich and meaningful, the sort of deep experience that results from the powerful pull of those bar magnets of their astrological polarity – the opposition of their Sun Signs. It can be, in fact, so sacred to them, that sometimes they’re even uncertain if such passion really happened, or they only dreamed it.
He may wonder aloud about this some morning, lying beside her – and she’ll comment in her practical, common-sense, Capricorn way: “Well, when you can’t believe a thing, I guess that means it was something special and good, because when it’s something bad, you don’t have to wonder – you’re only too sure it actually happened.” Then she’ll snuggle closer to him, and murmur: “I’m not certain about last night. Do you suppose it really did happen?” – with one of her quiet little smiles. It’s like a secret code between them. He’ll answer her then, in a way that removes all doubt.
Both of them are, to some degree, wistful about yesterday, although his nostalgia may tug a little more frequently on his heart than hers does even making him wish, at times, he could go back there to live. If only there could be, somewhere, he sighs, a real estate agency that sells houses on a long-ago street, complete with all his memories of the past, come to life again. The Goat Girl is sensible enough to realize that yesterday always appears more beautiful in dreams than it was in actuality so she’s more interested in creating a real present, which is the way yesterday only seems to have been, a solid improvement over the past. After all, the past didn’t include their discovery of each other. But the present does, and so, now, will the future. When she turns his vivid Lunar imagination around from yesterday toward tomorrow, they’ll be traveling in the spiral direction of the Circle, wherein is contained the alpha and omega answer to the riddle of love.