Cancer Man and Libra Woman Compatibility
every door in the coral caves where they live rings a tiny
bell when it opens or closes .. and he heard the bells.
Libra women are so full of love and loveliness, it really does seem as though bells ring when one is in their presence. Bells ring around most Gemini and Virgo girls too, but they have a more delicate sound. Libra bells are deeper, more like the chimes you hear at Easter Sunday sunrise. It’s all part of the music of Venus, and you can just imagine the effect it has on the sentimental heart and sensitive, finely tuned awareness of the Moon-ruled Cancer man. Like the sound of a choir.
To add to the dreamlike quality of the experience, the Libra girl who has enchanted him looks an awful lot like an angel. Venus never fails to bestow upon those who are her children a haunting beauty of feature .. . if not that, then at the very least, a smile that can gladden the weariest soul. Sometimes a Libra female is fortunate enough to have received both of these Venus blessings at birth, and if so, the Crab doesn’t have much of a chance. Dazzled by all that beauty, softened by her brilliant smile, and hearing all those chimes at the same time can bring on more than a touch of Moon madness in this man of many moods.
Crabs have a sensational sense of humor, so the first thing he’ll do to impress her, shortly after they’ve met, is tell her a funny story. She will laugh, then .. not just an ordinary laugh, but a laugh very much like the one Peter Pan told Wendy about that breaks into a thousand pieces and creates the birth of faeries .. and he will hear those chimes again. Not only is her laughter musical, but her smile is a symphony, and she has the good taste to appreciate his humor. Not long after this he’ll learn that, in addition to being beautiful and witty, softly fragrant and feminine, and overflowing with the velvet mystery of woman, she’s also extremely intelligent and can match his own cleverness in anything from chess to charades. She’s capable of being a surprisingly level-headed and creative silent partner in all his business affairs, maybe even an actual partner. She’s certainly smarter than all those dunderheads he’s used to dealing with who don’t laugh at his jokes and have to be told a dozen times how to accomplish the most simple tasks.
While he is being thus enchanted, so is she. Loving parties and people as she does, she’s met lots of men over the years, but they’ve bored her to tears. They’re so insensitive, so rude and demanding. They would never ask her advice about their businesses, jobs, or careers, because they think she’s “only a woman,” so what could she know about such matters? This always infuriates a Libra girl, to whom equality of the sexes is practically a religion. She doesn’t have to march in an ERA parade (though she very well might) but equality is equality, and fairness is fairness to Libra.
Now here is this charming man, whose eyes are alive with intelligence and humor, whose manner is so warm and affectionate, who is so reflective and sensitive. He makes her feel so feminine, yet he admires, even encourages her intellect. He makes her feel that he truly needs her, and somehow… she feels so safe and secure with him, as though he would never allow anything ugly or gross or upsetting to trouble the new tranquility they’ve found. There’s something just a little old-fashioned and gallant about him, and it lifts her spirits in a strange way, makes her feel pleasantly protected. He understands the swinging of her Scales from lonely to lovely, from happy to hateful, because he’s moody too, and that causes him to be sympathetic to her own moods. Mostly, he’s so serene and patient, qualities that always appeal to Libra, who seeks the soothing and peaceful.
Why not get married? (She may think of this first.) He may hesitate. Maybe his mother doesn’t approve of her, or maybe he’s not sure she can replace his mother as The-Woman-Who-Adores-Him-Above-All-Else-In-The-WorldEven-If-She-Sometimes-Doesn’t-Show-It-But-She-Usually-Does. Maybe he thinks he should concentrate on his career or business until it’s financially sound enough to support a wife and family. A Cancer man always looks before he leaps, and seldom rushes into anything. (To the female Crab who wants emotional and financial protection, marriage is the ideal answer, but the male Crab tends to seek the affection and emotional security he needs just as desperately by lengthening a love affair to its limit before he’s willing to contemplate wedlock.) The responsibilities of marriage worry him. Whether he loves her or not isn’t the issue. Of course he loves her, but
Her first reaction to his Crablike hesitation and crawling backward may be to become cool to his physical advances – or to torture him by pretending to be interested in other men, hoping that jealousy, fear of losing her – or a denial of physical passion – will overcome his caution. She hopes to convince him of the truth of Samuel Johnson’s observation that “marriage may have many pains but celibacy has no pleasures.” If the Sun and Moon in their nativities are in harmonious aspect, her strategy might work. Otherwise, it could only cause him to become snappy and cranky or to retreat into a shell of pouting. She’s been exposed to a myriad of his moods, but this may be a side of him she’s never seen. It will upset her, although she’ll try not to show it. Then she’ll turn on her Venus charm again, and begin to gently manipulate him with her soft voice and her dimpled smiles – attempt to win him over with a sort of combination of logic and serendipity. But with his acute perception, he’ll sense what she’s doing, and perhaps resist it by clinging to his caution even more tenaciously. His mother once told him that it’s more sensible to be safe than sorry, and that smartness succeeds better than softness in this harsh, cold world. So he’s always tried to be safe and sensible and smart. Now here is this beautiful, intelligent woman trying to make him be careless and impulsive .. and free. It confuses him, and makes him even crabbier.
He’ll fret privately over her extravagant nature and she’ll be annoyed at his unfair suspicions of her innocent friendships with others (but maybe not quite fair enough herself to realize she deliberately incited his suspicions). She’ll tell him he’s smothering her very soul, and refuse to answer his calls. But she misses him, she needs him, so she’ll try to see it his way again and again. He panics a little when they’ve quarreled, because the moment they’re apart, her air of happy optimism and the sheer loveliness of life when they’re laughing and loving together – haunts him. It’s so like the way he felt in childhood when life was sweet and simple. Will there ever be such beauty again with anyone else? He fears there won’t. In fact, secretly he’s sure of it, and that’s the dark enemy of their love – his secrecy, his reluctance to openly and directly express his feelings and thoughts to her. If he would, if he could, she might be able to help him make some sense of this strange Lunar magic they’ve discovered, help him find a way to believe in its goodness. But he perversely likes to keep her guessing about what he really thinks. It’s never as easy for Cancer to be as honest and open as Libra.
When they’re making love, they’ll say silently to one another, “Let’s don’t think, let’s just feel.” And so their physical intimacy makes their troubles fade, for a time. When a Cancerian man submits to pure emotion and feeling, he’s being his true self, free of the restrictions of his fears and worries. As a lover, he brings her the kind of peace and contentment he does because of these deep waters of his emotional nature. Sometimes, when they physically experience love, she’s reminded of a cool stream, and she’s a leaf, floating on its surface. The tenderness and imagination she brings to their Oneness has the same quieting effect upon him, and he relaxes, allowing love to fill his whole being, so there’s no room for anything but joy. The way she makes him feel at these moments is not something he’ll ever want to lose. But passion comes and goes, and always afterward there are the problems.
This being the difficult 4-10 Sun Sign Pattern, their conflicts and tensions, their impasse over permanency, and their divergent viewpoints aren’t easy to overcome. But if he uses his Cancerian tenaciousness to try harder to pull their differences together, instead of using it to pull their love apart – and if she uses her Libra fairness to comprehend his caution with more compassion for his feelings, and less concern for her own, they just might try again .. and maybe this time, they’ll make their poem rhyme, somehow learn to sing their song in tune. It’s a painful process for Cancer and Libra to reach a compromise, but his need to hear those Easter Sunday sunrise chimes again may cause the Crab to take another chance – and her need to be loved by a man who both cherishes her and respects her may bring her back into his arms to be told again how beautiful she is. While she’s gone, it’s funny how he still feels her head against his shoulder, now and then, in his dreams . . and last night, he was sure he heard her speak, but her voice was sad. With her wiser heart (for Libra is ahead of Cancer on the karmic wheel of life) he thought he heard her say to him, gently, “You have so uch to learn, darling… and I hope you never learn it, because it will bring pain, as learning always does, and I can’t bear for you to be hurt anymore. That’s why I had to go away.” When he awoke, there were tears in his eyes, because her presence had been so real, he almost heard the music he’ll never quite forget.
The Moon both curses and blesses Cancer with a vivid memory, nearly photographic, sometimes, in its clarity. These two can find their way back home to each other if their need and their patience are both strong enough. But if not, even after the song between them has ended, his Lunar memory will return to him… haunting fragments of the lyric. Then he’ll regret certain things he didn’t say when she was near .. so he’ll just think about them sometimes when he’s alone .. and hope she hears them, wherever she is . . .
it’s like you told me once if we never saw each other again
it wouldn’t make any difference
you didn’t say it wouldn’t matter
you said.. it wouldn’t make any difference
and did you know I understood the nuance?
it was so long ago .. but, did you know? *
* From Venus Trines at Midnight by Linda Goodman.