Cancer Woman and Aquarius Man Compatibility
But Wendy noticed, with gentle concern, that Peter did not
seem to know that this was rather an odd way of earning
your bread and butter, nor even that there are other
ways Wendy would have preferred a more
An Aquarian man longs for affection just like anyone else, but he’ll struggle violently against being dunked, like a donut, in an ocean of it. I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking that people don’t dunk donuts in the ocean. Aquarius does. He doesn’t eat the donut after it’s dunked. He’s just experimenting with how fast the salt water makes it soggy, compared with the honey in his tea. But the important thing is that he, himself, is uncomfortable in a soggy state. Too much soggy possessiveness stifles his need for the fresh air of freedom of expression.
The typical Water Bearer will resent being interrogated about wearing his galoshes, how many starches he’s eating and what he did with the thirty-five dollars he had in his pocket yesterday. He’ll certainly appreciate the flattering attention he receives from the Moon Maiden, but when that attention threatens to curb his independent research of the world and nearly everyone in it, he’ll become stubborn – or he’ll clam up and coast away.
Telling this man what time to be home is rather futile. He needs to fly free, and he can do without being dampened by Saturnine pessimism while he’s flying. His odd behavior may perplex the Cancerian girl into tears. He’ll often act as though he doesn’t even know she’s there, let alone that she’s weeping – then if she’s missing at the very moment he wants a baked Alaska, or has lost a shoestring and needs her to find it, he’ll be more than a little upset. It’s her fault. She’s the one who got him accustomed to her baked Alaskas and steamed veggies, and she’s spoiled him equally in the shoestring department. It also disturbs her when he tries to pry into her secrets. Even when she has no secrets. Sometimes she’s just quiet for no reason, her thoughts racing with the Moon, and he tries to race along beside her. But she’d really rather be alone on such flights – or at least she needs her companion to hold her hand in silent sympathy, not startle her with questions that sound like popcorn … . popping in her inner ear when she’s half-dreaming.
You can see that each of them prefers that the other doesn’t intrude upon his (or her) flying habits. Joining is all right, but not interfering. If she can learn not to try to restrict his urges to mingle with the masses and hike alone now and then – and he can learn to pry more gently into her secret place of dreams – at least half of their troubles will have been overcome.
A Lunar lady has a near compulsion to “mother” the man she loves. This man will think it’s neat to be mothered, at any chronological age at all, but she should be warned that mothering an Aquarian male can be a full-time job – at any age. Maybe they’re both high school or college students. If so, here are some hints. A young Aquarian I know, named Bill, during a couple of reasonably recent years, decided to be an oceanographer, then a musician, then an engineer, then a scuba diver, then an astronaut – for a brief period, a Lutheran minister – and most recently, he’s waiting to talk with a Leo biologist, whom he happens to respect, so he can help him decide if he should settle on marine biology as a career. He’s a little jumpy, waiting, because the biologist advisor is temporarily residing in Hawaii. During roughly the same period of time, this Water Bearer lost four pairs of glasses, three pairs of contact lenses, had an emergency appendectomy, disappeared from home for eight weeks to work in a pizza parlor, took up playing the guitar for church services, grew his hair long, cut his hair short, painted the ceiling of his room jet black – and fell in love with a girl fish named Debbie. (No one has been able to find out if Debbie is a female Piscean or a marlin at the New York aquarium.)
Last month (as I write this) he decided to join a friend in Dayton, Ohio, in opening a shop to repair and build guitars – shortly after which he decided to join a rock band on tour, while waiting to talk with the temporarily Hawaiibased biologist about dolphins and such. He has it somewhere in the back of his mind to learn how to speak dolphin. I haven’t the slightest idea what that means, have you? A telephone call in the midst of writing this paragraph only minutes ago informed me that he changed his mind, and is now planning a hermit period in the woods, for the purpose of meditating alone and composing some music. However, he’s not sure it’s the Colorado woods he wants to camp out in, because “Colorado only has two kinds of trees, two kinds of flowers, two kinds of rocks” – and this is “beginning to bore him.” He’d like to try playing his guitar in the Grand Canyon, he says, “and tape the echoes.”
Do you see what I mean?
That’s the kind of thing the Moon Maiden will face, regardless of the calendar age of the Uranus man. Oh, he may have a more or less (mostly less) permanent job or career, and all that – and he may not have lost his glasses (only because he doesn’t wear glasses, in which case, he’ll lose other things, like his driver’s license or his bankbook, keys – assorted objects of that nature). Whether this man is five or fifty, twenty or two hundred, he needs a lot of mothering. Just so the Moon Maid who loves him doesn’t get the word “mothering” confused with the word “smothering.”
The Cancer lady who has chaotically cast herself within the general auric orb of the Water Bearer should resign herself to skipping through Wonderland with him, if not geographically, then at least mentally. If not mentally, then emotionally. If she’s “lucky,” it will be all three. Actually, when it’s analyzed carefully, it doesn’t make all that much difference whether her attitude toward his comings and goings with his many friends (who sort of grow on him, like benevolent barnacles) is strict or permissive, since neither attitude will make much impression on him. His family probably tried both, and found out years before the Moon lady met him that neither method was overwhelmingly successful, as far as keeping him walking an arrow-straight path, without curves and detours, was concerned. Aquarians must, in some manner, zigzag. It’s their empathy with the symbolic Uranus lightning. Everyone knows lightning never follows a straight line, so how can one expect a man who is under its influence to do so himself?
Oddly, the older an Aquarian man grows, the more Fixed his habits become, very gradually – yet the older a Cancerian woman grows, the more wistful she often becomes about visiting those faraway places of her girlhood dreams. It’s a situation calling for compromise. I don’t want to mislead the Moon Maid. When I said the Uranus male changes as he grows older, I didn’t mean to leave the impression that he’ll ever become quite as normal as the neighbors. He’ll still remain a little wacky, he’ll just be a touch more Fixed in his wackiness. Like he may not mow the back lawn in his birthday suit anymore, but his sense of the original and the unique will stay relatively intact. In however mild a manner, he’ll still manage to come up with occasional surprises to keep life interesting.
There will be times when she thinks he verges on peculiar, but usually the girl Crab will find the Water Bearer lots of fun. Her sense of humor is one of her lunier and lovelier traits, and might even be what attracted him to her in the first place. (Since she has a feeling for the ridiculous, her feeling for him is certainly logical enough.) He loves the way her smile ripples like a quiet stream, then bursts into a waterfall of merry, madcap laughter. And undeniably, her feminine secrecy intrigues him. Her moods may puzzle, even madden, him, at times, but if he really tries, he can synchronize his metabolism to hers. After all, he’s a mental Air Sign and therefore more adaptable than lots of other people. It’s the Fixity of his sign that could require some shaking up.
This being a 6-8 Sun Sign Pattern, she represents the sixth astrological house of service to him so there’s always the chance that if she permits it, he’ll fall into the habit of expecting her to serve him in subtle ways, or to sacrifice her own dreams to his changeable charisma. He represents the eighth house vibration to her; consequently, he’ll seem, in some way, elusive, just beyond her grasp somehow…. and she’ll also find him physically appealing in a way she can’t easily explain.
There’s an undeniable sexual attraction between these two. A powerful chemistry draws them from the beginning. For he was born under a masculine sign, ruled by the also masculine Uranus – she was born under a feminine sign, ruled by the also very feminine Moon. Never mind the old rumors about the “Man in the Moon” – the inconstant Moon is definitely a lady. Astrology’s warning to the double masculine men and double feminine women is to beware of the natural tendency for the “strong” to domineer the allegedly “weak,” bringing with it the danger of a trace of the sadistic and the masochistic. But there’s more likelihood in this case that the roles could be reversed, because the “double feminine” influence of the Moon Maid is also Cardinal. She may appear to be a submissive angel of docility, but I wouldn’t take any bets on who rules the roost if I were you. Of course, an Aquarian man will be ruled just so long, then leave the roost. (Fly the coop.)
However, if she can blend her feminine qualities with his masculine ones, and vice versa, so that each contains a happy combination of negative-positive in his or her approach to life and to each other … . especially in their approach to sex… they’ll enjoy their lovemaking immensely, because it will bring them such peace and contentment. It’s a rare Moon Maiden and Water Bearer who don’t value their sexual union as a very special experience. She brings out in him a depth of tenderness he might not have known he possessed. And he arouses in her a wildness of passion she kept hidden, until him, like a touch of abandoned Moon madness.
Uranus, the alchemist, helps him translate her moods unexpectedly, and he somehow knows the singing words to transmute them too .. . from reflective to intense .. . from sad to serene .. . from dull despair to the dizzy heights of fresh hope and Lunar laughter. He murmurs a magic mantra to her with a single glance, like a lightning bolt. She hears it.. . as the Full Moon hears the thunderous sound of silently swelling, gathering waves long before they crash against the ocean’s shore .. . and she answers with a matching glance. No wonder their sexual Oneness is unique and unpredictable, potentially so deep and fulfilling, especially when their Luminaries are in harmony between their birth charts.
These two will constantly challenge each other in strange and haunted ways, inexplicably interwoven with the powerfully magnetic vibrations of the Moon and Uranus .. . through the eloquence of unspoken messages in their eyes. Neither of them is above using a spell to bind the other. He’ll think he can escape, but her delicate mist holds him with its beckoning secrets, as her eyes seem to chant the incantation of a Moon Child … . Abracadabra, rippled water tears … pickled pumpkin butterfly ears … North Winds, blow across his years *
She’ll think she can run away from the sometimes pain of love, but he’ll hold her fast with the sheer compulsion of his indefinable mystery, silently warning her that, if she goes I’ll leave my trace upon you … like your own witch’s hex … streaked through your hair… and lingering in your silver eyes.. .*
Then he, in turn, will ponder leaving her, but she’ll reply softly… Oh, no! I’ll have my madcap moonlight way… no matter how many fiddlers call you to a dance of wooden marchers* And womanlike, she’ll have the last word. All his Uranus alchemy will be helpless to enable him to conjure up an answer to her final Cancer-Cardinal-Lunar-Feminine enchantment when she wraps him tenderly, but tightly, with the vow … .
I’ll sear your palm with an eternal scar
so all the canny Cassandras will whisper
“Ah! There goes one of the lost!
he has been visited by a vagrant solitaire
singing a moonlight sonata
he has been wheedled by a will-o’-the-wisp
from the midnight moors
he has been kissed by a flickering firefly
brushed by the touch of a wild gypsy spell
he has heard the cry of a loon
… he has been loved” *
It’s never easy to leave a Cancerian lady. Her violet songs will follow the Aquarian man wherever he goes, and however far… even tinting his dreams with lavender and the shimmering silver of her laugh. His friends will think he’s even stranger than before… and that’s pretty strange! But also rather wonderful. It’s uncommonly rare to be enchanted by a moonbeam .. . to be a curious prisoner of the sea. It serves him right for being an Air Sign .. . and confusing her with his symbol of the Water Bearer. Poetic Justice, astrology would call it.
* Venus Trines at Midnight by Linda Goodman (New York: Taplinger Publishing Company, Inc. To be republished by Harper & Row, 1979).