“He does so need a mother….”
“Yes, I know,” Wendy admitted rather forlornly; “no one
knows so well as I.”
When a girl Crab and a boy Crab are enticed to peek out of their protective shells long enough to fall in love, emotional security being the important thing it is to each, they’ll usually want to marry. Some may make the attempt to tolerate a loosely defined living-together arrangement for a time, but it will be a very short time.
These two really prefer – and need – the warmth and protection of a socially-sanctioned and legally-cemented relationship. It’s extremely doubtful that any Cancerian could be comfortable for long under the psychological burden of an illicit union. (What would Mother think? ) Only those rare and lonely Moon Children who have been hopelessly alienated from the parental tie, for one reason or another, will successfully adjust to love-sans-marriage, and even they will duck their heads when they pass the neighbors. Yes, there are Cancerian prostitutes, but truly, they’re the most unhappy, emotionally unfulfilled females on Earth, except when they’re counting their earnings. Nevertheless, every last one of them cries herself to sleep at night.
The casual promiscuity of the Aquarian Age sexual revolution has passed right over the heads of the average and typical Cancer man and woman. Tradition and the sacredness of home life are too deeply ingrained in the Lunar subconscious to be discarded without great uneasiness of spirit, never mind what you may hear from some flippant Cancerian Looney Bird you know who’s trying to appear to be “with it.” Listen to the stars. They’re older and wiser. Watch – wait – and see.
Once the 1-1 Sun Sign Pattern of Cancer-Cancer is planted, and blossoms into the girl and boy Crabs becoming “one flesh,” they can surely discover lots of things to do together, based on interests they have in common – like poring over family photo albums, giggling over each other’s baby pictures, collecting stamps and old coins, crying on each other’s cozy shoulders, visiting each other’s homesteads, redecorating the house, gardening, traveling, exchanging dreams and nightmares, reading or writing poetry, singing or listening to music, running along the beach picking up driftwood, scuba diving, making wishes on the New Moon and sharing Lunar madness under the Full Moon. She can cook for him, and he can earn money for her. Or – Cancer being a feminine sign, and the Lunar charisma of both male and female Crabs being what it is – he can cook for her, and she can earn money for him. Either way. All Cancerian men like fine food, and most are good cooks. All Cancerian women like supplemental incomes, and most are good at earning it. And vice-versa, with the boy and girl Crabs.
Emotional crying binges (or pouting periods) will be first on the list of possible problem areas, making Kleenex a big item on the budget. They both sniffle, sob and weep a lot – at sad movies, over real or imagined neglect from the mate, about their lost childhood – and sometimes for no reason at all, except that their emotions wax and wane with the Moon’s periodicity.
Food, as already mentioned, will come next in importance, with either happy agreement or tearful argument about which restaurant to dine in (during courtship) or how to cook and serve the artichokes at home (after the honeymoon). Those rare Cancerians who are casually unconcerned with food – with where, when and how they eat – either have the Moon or Ascendent in Gemini, Aquarius, Sagittarius or Aries, or else they were adopted for sure, and were fibbed to about their true birthday. Fabulous food – and enough of it – is a Cancer birthright. It shocks the typical Crabs to think of anyone starving, and it literally terrifies them to think of themselves starving. Both possibilities will bring tears to their eyes. Some of the most sincerely and tenderly concerned men and women, who deeply yearn to help the hungry masses (especially the children) of the underprivileged countries, are Cancerians (also some of the most frequent purchasers of bathroom scales, although they share this latter distinction with many Taureans and Librans).
After emotional tantrums and food fusses will come babies – raising a family. If one of them has natal planetary positions indicating the lack of desire to have offspring, the other will sulk and pout. If they both want tiny cherubs, they’ll find grounds for both agreement and disagreement when the birds are ready to leave the nest. Some Cancerian mothers don’t believe Junior is old enough to date a girl or to live alone in his own apartment until he’s around thirty to thirty-five. Some Cancerian fathers (and mothers) don’t believe a daughter should marry until a potential suitor appears who is healthy, wealthy and wise, who treasures her as a rare pearl of perfect womanhood, whose reputation is unblemished – and who makes over $100,000 a year. (A parent with both the Sun and Moon in Cancer might conceivably hold out for President of the United States as the only man fit for such an honor.)
Next on the list of subjects involving the possibilities of both harmony and tension between two Crabs in love – is money. Actually, money comes first in order of Cancerian priority, but sometimes the haze of romance causes this couple to hide their individual financial hang-ups from each other initially, as an unseemly and harsh intrusion upon the harmonics of love. They’re right. It is. Nonetheless, they’d best tackle the clash over cash in the very beginning. Separate checking accounts. Definitely, that’s what I would advise. Separate checking accounts, savings accounts, stock portfolios, stamp collections and spending money allowances. Then they can each hoard as much lettuce as he or she desires, and practice whatever mild or pronounced degree of stinginess or generosity was implanted by the experiences of childhood, secretly, without the other knowing about it. Cancer is ultra-sensitive, and more so about money than about anything else. Keeping their individual finances private could be a futile hope, because these two are equally adept at keeping secrets and prying them out of each other.
Last, but surely not least, there’s the area of sex. Let’s hope they make an attempt to comprehend the peculiarities of their mutual astrological symbol, the Crab. The habit of all Nature crabs, male and female, as I’ve pointed out before, is to reach a desired objective by first moving backward or sideways, with seeming unconcern, then lunging suddenly forward. If they both memorize this ingrained tendency, she’ll be less likely to dissolve into tears of rejection and neglect some night when he casually announces he’s going to sleep on the couch to watch the eclipse of the Moon from the front room window. She can instead smile to herself, knowing his real objective is to follow her into bed soon, having been aroused by Lunar longings when she kissed him goodnight on the couch, trailing perfume and wearing his favorite nightie. And he’ll be less likely to be thrown into an impotent impasse of masculine fears when she coolly turns her back to him on their anniversary, murmuring, “Goodnight honey, don’t forget to set the alarm,” after her eyes telegraphed to him all afternoon an invitation for a thrilling encore of their wedding night. He can, instead, smile and wait till she signals her real wishes by slowly sliding her cold feet over to touch his warm toes – or some similar subtlety. Both of them are inclined to play sexual guessing games, concealing passion for fear of rebuff – or the discovery of a lack of a mutual need for union – and so each will often try to trick the other into making the first move. Other than this bedtime hide-and-seek habit, they should find a rare contentment through their physical expression of love.
Neither one of them seeks, or is desirous of handling, a demanding sexual passion. Although they’re both enormously receptive to sensuality and capable of a deep response, their need in lovemaking is more for affection than for eroticism. It can crush a male or female Crab if the partner fails to set the proper mood for sex, with preliminary endearments and tender touches – or, even worse, fails to spend time after physical consummation in affectionately reaffirming love. Romance is an integral part of sexual excitement and fulfillment for Cancer. The boy or girl Crab who feels unloved throughout the day will snap sharply at the advances of the mate at night, then crawl into a lonely shell of frigidity, expecting to be coaxed out into desire by frequent reassurances and apologies.
When these two first meet, timidity and caution may color their initial sex reactions. Then suddenly, under a Full Moon, which can act as a strange and mystical aphrodisiac to Cancer, they’ll move forward (like the symbolic Nature crab) to do what comes naturally, and it will be a toss-up who seduces whom. Poetry and music never fail to quicken the sexual pulse of Cancerian lovers, but they’ll find physical love difficult if not impossible to express when they’re worried about finances. A streak of poverty can temporarily halt their sex lives, and a feeling of not being appreciated will also considerably dampen passion. When their physical relationship cools, they don’t need a sex therapy clinic or a bag of ginseng cookies. They need lots of money, lots of affection, lots of sympathy – and a Farmer’s Almanac. Usually, this man and woman will be faithful. Infidelity is rare between Cancerians. If it should occur, the Lunar possessiveness won’t be as likely to create a display of jealousy, as to cause a tenacious determination to wait out the rival.
Secrecy is a trait they’ll have to curb early in their relationship. Although Crabs of both sexes like to keep secrets, neither one likes to have secrets kept from him – or her. If they work at being more open and direct, less subtle and evasive, much hurt can be avoided. He may think she’s hiding a lover, when the real reason she’s so quiet and preoccupied is because her mother didn’t answer her last letter – or he didn’t compliment her on her creamed artichokes, and didn’t even notice her new nightgown. And she may think he’s seeing another woman, when his real secret is that he’s worried about being able to make the car payment – or that she’s forgotten to say “thank you for loving me” when they wake up in the morning for three whole weeks. In either case, an honest confession will turn everything rightside-up again, and change tears into laughter – for both of them possess the saving grace of humor, which is always the surest and safest antidote when they’re taking themselves too seriously.
More so than with other 1-1 Sun Sign Pattern lovers, the degree of compatibility between the Moon Maid and her gentle Crab will depend on their individual Moon Signs, and the aspect formed between their natal Moons. If this is harmonious, their coziness will far exceed their crabbiness. If not, this man and woman still stand a good chance of becoming wealthy together – and they’ll also probably treat one another with more tender, loving care than either of them ever have or ever will receive from anyone else. They may snap at each other under a waning Moon, but when she is waxing, these two will sail away on a sea of imagination into a lovely world of lavender lunacy and pale silver enchantment, faintly scented with Johnson’s baby powder. Moonlight becomes them – both.