Cancer Woman and Leo Man Compatibility
It was not to receive his thanks, however, that she hung
there in the sky; it was not even to watch him get into the
nest; it was to see what he did with her eggs.
A Moon Maid and a Lion who have fallen in love face one of three possibilities, assuming they expect their love to result in a lifetime relationship. (1) After a few years, he will arrogantly domineer her into a trembling, tearful submission to his royal whims, causing her to become even more moody than she was when they first met. (2) After a few years, she will crush his confidence with her gentle, but persistent nagging, causing him to retreat into sad and sullen silences. (3) After a few years, they’ll make adjustments, compromise their differences, and live happily ever after – loving and laughing and weeping and learning.
Turning the third possibility into a reality won’t be a piece of cheese cake, nor is it a task for the faint-hearted or the selfish. It requires a sensitive awareness of the care needed when you’re blending Fire and Water. He’ll have to suffer through her perplexing moodiness, and try to perceive the root cause of her possessive reflexes. She’ll have to overlook his ego-oriented attitudes, and not dwell in self-pity on his sometimes thoughtless disregard for her feelings. He’ll have to realize that half her possessiveness will disappear when she has babies to croon over and wrap in swaddling clothes and the other half will disappear when he takes the time to calm her fears and strengthen her sense of emotional security. She’ll have to realize that much of his arrogance stems from an inner doubt of his abilities (which increases in exact ratio to his success, oddly) and that she’ll get nowhere with him by dampening his pride, yet can almost make him roll-over-Rover by verbally (and sincerely) appreciating his virtues and allowing him at least the choice of taking the initiative in nearly everything. But she must be careful to retain her own dignity and individuality at the same time.
If all this sounds to you like a path to sainthood, you’re right, that’s just about what it is. It takes a lot of saintly serenity, love and patience for a Crab and a Lion to gradually grow to trust their hearts with one another, for their dreams are very different. Don’t be gloomy. There are reliable astrological blueprints for building this relationship into a Forever design, with a strong foundation of happiness, lit brightly by her Lunar lamps and Solar heated by him. Here’s just one example of such a blueprint.
When I first met good friend Eileen Goldman, she was twinkling with her Looney Bird humor. Eileen is married to Bill Goldman, author of a number of best-selling books and TV dramas, also two-time Oscar winner for his screenplays of Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid and All the President’s Men. Bill is a Leo, neither a Shy Pussycat nor a roaring Jungle Cat type. He is simply a Lion. A Monarch. A King. He happens to be an exceptionally kind-hearted and generous Leo, but he is a Lion. He is strikingly handsome. She is hauntingly beautiful. She bakes yummy pies. He purrs. (He also growls, of course,
but more often he purrs.)
“What is your Sun Sign?” I asked Eileen, a few seconds after our first hellos. (Has it been nearly a decade ago? It has. Time flies.) She gazed at me then, with such an expression of mock sadness in her large, starry-lashed eyes, and gave a gentle sigh of resignation, as she replied, “I’m a Cancerian. I have two Fire Sign children, a Leo dog, a Leo cat, several Leo relatives, a Leo housekeeper and a Leo husband – and I cry a lot.”
“I’ll just bet you do,” I said with an instant rush of sympathy. Of course, I knew she was only joking (about the weeping – the Sun Signs are actual), just displaying her Lunar humor. Still, her remark did indicate in a subtle manner her recognition of the sacrifices involved for a Moon Maiden living with a jungle pride of Lions and Lionesses. She plays her karmic role with the Sun Sign of Leo smoothly, absorbing all the beneficial lessons she’s astrologically destined to learn during this present life of servitude I mean, during this present lifetime. Seriously (I was only jesting) this girl Crab is undeniably devoted to her Lion. She respects him, and never tries to upstage him. In return, he has allowed her to wear the glittering crown that designates her as his Queen – and very becoming it is too. But there is no groveling, she’s retained her independence as a woman, and she is not a slave (maybe a footman now and then).
Like every Cancerian wife and mother, when her children were teeny-tiny, she fussed over her entire brood a bit much, drowning them in Vicks salve and chicken soup, and smothering them with loving concern and affection in a house awash with galoshes, thermometers, Crayolas and sentimentally bronzed birthday cakes. But after a while, she firmly adjusted her crown, majestically marched forth and formed a partnership with her close friend Lola Redford to found CAN (Consumer Action Now), an energetic and practical concept, which has enormously benefited the ecological movement. In connection with CAN, Eileen has managed to chalk up almost as many radio, TV and newspaper interviews as her Lion. I didn’t say more, I said almost as many. The difference is vital.
In 1974, under her maiden name of Eileen Jones, this Moon Maiden fulfilled another Lunar dream by becoming a sensitive and highly successful freelance photographer of the theatre and other arts. Wisely, she never allows her own career to interfere with the lavish attention her Big Cat expects and receives. She’s a dream of a hostess, even more glamorous and youthful than when they first met, and she has 100 things to talk about with her Leo that are more exciting than detergent, dish towels, and depression.
These two genuinely admire each other’s minds, talents and accomplishments, and despite his Lunar Lady’s busy schedule, the Lion is properly pampered. If they gave out Academy Awards for Happiness, Eileen would surely receive an Oscar for her supporting role. Not long ago, when a friend of hers was enduring a temporary but agonizing period of poverty and personal tragedy, she appeared every few days, like an angel of mercy, with Cancer CARE baskets, stuffed full to overflowing with fruits, goodies, cash – and loyalty. (But she was always back home in time for dinner, to feed her hungry Lion and her cubs.)
Now you have a blueprint for compatibility between Crabs and Lions, Moon Maidens and Pussycats, Cancerians and Leos. Also for Lions and Crabs, Pussycats and Moon Maidens, Leos and Cancerians. It works with any combination, but may give quicker results with the last three. Leo likes to win all the battles. Cancer prefers to win the war.
The Cancerian girl is powerfully influenced by the combination of her feminine Sun Sign and its also feminine ruler, the moody Moon. Therefore, she personifies the Mystery of Woman, all the complex yearnings and inexplicable behavior of Eve herself. The Leo man is powerfully influenced by the combination of his masculine Sun Sign and its also masculine ruler, the Sun. Therefore, he personifies the conquering charisma of Man, all the wisdom and strength, contrariness and proud spirit of Adam himself. You can see why she’s able to tempt him in the beginning, why he’s so easily seduced by her home-baked pies. Yet, she’s Cardinal, and this makes her a rather bossy Eve. He’s Fixed, and this makes him a stubborn Adam. They’ll be more at ease emotionally with one another if she doesn’t try to compete with his stronger personality, but allows it to bring out all her tender and tranquil qualities. It’s natural for the Moon (Cancer) to absorb the brilliant Solar rays of the Sun (Leo) and reflect them back in the form of the softer, more gentle illumination of moonlight.
Imitating Mother Nature never leads human nature astray, as long as these two don’t overdo their Solar-Lunar roles, and slip into the trap of overemphasizing them. Too many Cancer-Leo couples drift into this sort of danger unaware. There’s nothing “natural” about an association with sadist-masochist overtones. But these are the extreme cases. The Cancerian woman and Leo man should strive to temper each other’s divergent personalities through a subtle but constant interchange of themselves, and avoid excessive domination on his part, as well as excessive docility on her part. For this sort of balancing act, it will be substantially helpful if the Moon or Ascendent of one or both of them adds a Gemini or Libra influence.
The chemical attraction a girl Crab and a Lion feel when they first fall in love may later ebb and flow. Their physical magnetism is powerful, but it requires a delicate blending of their natures. If he’s impulsive, demanding and careless in his lovemaking, and she’s too sensitive, passive and elusive in hers – his mind may wander, and her emotions will flee into strange shadows. When physical closeness between them is good, it’s very good, for she’s beautifully receptive, and he’s wonderfully warm and affectionate. Because there’s a gentleness and softness in her sexual attitude that complements his intensity, the passion exchanged between them can be very deep. But she can wound him with her moodiness when she’s worried, which he mistakenly judges as a lack of response – and he can hurt her with his aloofness when he’s troubled, which she mistakenly interprets as indifference.
Tears are often part of their togetherness, but tears can be healing, and with Cancer and Leo they can turn into tears of joy those times when he soothes away her nightmares with the comfort of his familiar nearness. Her dreams are always lovelier when she falls asleep with his arms around her, because it means her heart is safe again for a little while from her subconsciously remembered childhood fear of loneliness. This is when he knows how much he’s needed, and then he cries… but she’s not awake, so she doesn’t know, and he’ll never tell her. She has many secrets, but he has only one. His vulnerability.
The Lion who is enchanted on a summer night by a girl Crab is always surprised when he knows her better. She seemed to be such a helpless creature, seeking his strength as soft as a baby rabbit, and as timid – wide-eyed, needing guidance. He felt a tug of tenderness. Later he learned she’s more than feminine – she’s womanly. Feminine is enticing, but womanly is deeper. She’s cozy and maternal, tucking him under her lavender-scented blankets of security and so perceptive she guesses his thoughts and feelings without his having spoken a word. Much later, he’ll discover something else, misty, hard to define. It disturbs him, because just when he’s sure he’s in control of the relationship, she eludes him, makes him feel he’s not really the lord and master of this lady after all. Not in the total way he once believed he was. She never defies him, but he suspects she may have a secret place in her mind she escapes to when he’s hurt her, when they’ve quarreled.
He’d like to follow her there to tell her he’s sorry, but he doesn’t know the way. And so he must wait for her to return, in her own time – from her secret place. She can’t be coaxed, and she can’t be hurried. He’s always glad when she returns and is real again, back to being her normal funny, bright and alert self humming as she bakes his apple pie, stirring him with the fragrance of her hair as she kisses his cheek. It’s time to impulsively suggest a trip. Her wanderlust is awakened, she says, “Let’s”! And he confidently takes charge of the travel plans. Shall they leave as soon as tomorrow morning? Why not?
Traveling somewhere together is like a fresh wind blowing through the love between this man and woman. She has him all alone then, to herself, the way she likes him – and he can instruct her in all sorts of new lessons. No matter where they go, he’ll be an expert on the people, the language, the stores and the surrounding geography. She listens, his gentle Moon Maiden .. . fascinated. And as she listens, she finds herself remembering why she fell in love with him. It was because she could sit curled up beside him forever, just listening to him talk. He knew so much about so many things, and he made them all sound exciting. He had such confidence, he was so sure of himself, the way she’d always longed to be, and couldn’t. But.. . something about his sureness bothered her, and for a long while, she didn’t know what it was. Then one day it came to her. “If he’s so confident,” she wondered, “and knows so much, and is so sure he’s always right… why does he need my constant approval?”
Suddenly, she knew. “He’s only pretending to be brave and strong and wise. Except when he knows that I believe it. Then he believes it too.” The knowing gave her a sharp loving-pain. And she wept the same tears wept by Eve herself when she first learned Woman’s deepest secret from Eden’s Tree of Wisdom.