Cancer Woman and Libra Man Compatibility
She had come to save him, to give him her nest, though
there were eggs in it. I rather wonder at the bird, for
though he had been nice to her, he had also sometimes
Love has a way of turning a moody, secretive, and sometimes cranky female Crab into a lovely, solicitous, tender, and gentle Moon Maiden. If she should happen to be in love with a Libra man, she’ll begin to worry about him right away. He works too hard, he plays too hard, he eats all the wrong foods, he drinks too much, he doesn’t get enough rest, he lets other people take advantage of his good nature, he’s too easygoing, he’ll catch cold if he doesn’t stop running around in the rain without his rubbers, and he must stop losing his umbrellas, because umbrellas cost money, and the money spent on just the ones he lost last year alone could buy a new electric juicer to make vegetable juices to dilute the effect of the bad things he insists upon eating and drinking. Cancer cares. On his birthday, the Moon Maiden may give him an electric blanket, because she’s concerned about his comfort. Actually, it’s a hint that sleeping with her curled up beside him would be a much nicer way to keep his toes warm in winter.
Since Libra is a masculine Sun Sign, he will soon set her straight on his determination not to be either dominated or nagged. But he is ruled by the feminine planet Venus, which will harmonize nicely with her fluctuating Lunar moods, brought on by her ruling Moon, making her feel emotionally secure, which in turn will bring out all her sterling qualities of loyalty, patience, and devotion. For a while, all will be peace and tranquility.
Regardless of the rather marked differences in their dispositions and personalities, if he’s a typical Libra male, he won’t let much time drag by between falling in love and being tempted by the idea of marriage. When a Venus-ruled male is strongly tempted to do something with a female as tempting as this one, he’ll mull it over and find a thousand rational reasons why he should, finally deciding that the only way to get rid of temptation is to give in to it. (That’s an example of Libra logic when it’s distorted by romantic desire and urges of the flesh.)
If he’s an evolved Libran, and if the aspect between their Luminaries is favorable (his Sun conjunct, sextile, or trine her Moon, or vice versa – or blessedly, both), he’s made a wise decision in proposing marriage to this soft, dewy-eyed creature with the hard shell, this fragile (ha!), sensitive and perceptive (true) Moon Maiden who exhibits such flattering concern for his welfare, and who stirs within him such deep emotions. (You can’t blame him for giving in to temptation when you really think about it.) If the aforementioned Sun-Moon aspect between their horoscopes is a square or an opposition, he may still have made a wise decision for the good of his eternal soul – but it could be kind of rough on his mind, body, and emotions. However, we must keep in mind what was noted in the first part of this chapter, that if they’re able to harmonize the disharmony, they’ll have the sort of love the angels enjoy, and that’s worth more than a little effort.
To the Moon Maid and the Libran: Listen, astrologically, I have for you some bad news and some good news. Which do you want to hear first, the good news or the bad?
LIBRA: Give me the good news first.
CANCER: Give me the bad news first.
I guess it has to be the bad news first, because their answers are a perfect demonstration of it – of the vastly different approach these two take toward any sort of situation, outside themselves or between themselves. No other Sun Sign is by nature more unintentionally but determinedly pessimistic than Cancer (unless it’s Taurus, Virgo, or Capricorn, but when the scores are added up, the Crab tops them all). And no Sun Sign is by nature as cheerfully, endlessly (and sometimes maddeningly) optimistic as Libra (unless it’s Aries or Sag, but Libra can beat them both to the finish line when it comes to chasing the rainbows).
Looking on the bright side of it, we may play Pollyanna and say that when his optimism and her pessimism are poured out of the same teapot day after day (and night after night), her influence will gradually make his optimism less gullible and more sensible – while his influence will gradually make her pessimism less depressing and a little more hopeful.
Looking on the dark side of it, we must admit that, by the very nature of its Webster definition, optimism cannot be made less gullible and cannot become sensible, or it wouldn’t be optimism anymore. Likewise, by the very nature of its Webster definition, pessimism can’t be made less depressing, because depressing is depressing, and degrees of it don’t count – and it certainly can’t be made hopeful, or it wouldn’t be pessimism anymore. Our efforts to help them are clearly becoming snarled in semantics.
We wouldn’t want them to solve the problem by trading these ingrained character traits with one another, because a pessimistic Libran would be a dreadfully unhappy man, and a totally optimistic Cancerian woman, lacking all caution, would be untrue to herself. Maybe a touch of anagrams would help. Optimism contains within it the word “mist,” pessimism contains within it the word “miss.” She might warn him (and beneficially, too) that TOO MUCH (those are the key words) optimism could form a mist over reality, which could cause his dreams to fade, when she so desperately wants them to come true because she loves him. He might, in turn, tell her that TOO MUCH (key words again) pessimism will cause her to unnecessarily miss a lot of happiness along the way that they could have shared together, a tragedy he wants her to avoid because he loves her so. The solution is Libra balance.
Now that we’ve solved that problem between them, let’s go on to the next piece of bad news, and save the good news for last, where it will have more power to cancel the complications.
She is emotionally possessive, and he is emotionally freedom-loving. It seems like an insurmountable conflict, yet it isn’t nearly as difficult a situation as each of them may individually talk themselves into believing it is. Not if they really love one another. To him: She isn’t possessive because she wants to smother you. It’s just her old fears from childhood nightmares, returning to haunt her. She’s afraid your love for her is only a mirage and it might disappear someday, leaving her all alone, unloved and unprotected. Surely you can be fair enough to be aware that these very real fears naturally increase when you’re out of sight, because she was frightened by the lie “out of sight, out of mind” when she was a little girl. To her: He doesn’t seek periods of freedom because he wants to plot ways of leaving you – or because he’s fallen in love with someone else. He was born into the Air Element, and when Air is confined, it grows stale. Forget that false warning of what happens when the man you love is out of your sight, and realize that it’s been proven a million times over that “absence makes the heart grow even fonder.” It’s a universal law of love that cannot ever be changed. Only if he doesn’t love you are you in danger of losing him when he’s out of sight – and if he doesn’t love you, you’re going to lose him anyway, and good riddance, because it will allow your real love to enter your life. If he does love you, he misses you more when you’re apart than you suspect, and far more than he’ll ever tell you if you keep making him think you don’t trust him.
A Libra man who truly loves and understands the Moon Maiden who tugs on his heart will invite her to go with him, even when it’s a boring business trip he feels would be sooner and more smoothly out of the way if he handled it alone, and really mean it when he asks her, remembering that people fall in love to be together, and things that keep them apart, that keep them from the constant excitement of discovery together, are enemies to their happiness, never mind the rules of society.
How can they share exciting discoveries together if the only time they see one another is at home, and the only exciting discovery is the baby’s new tooth or that the roof is leaking? If he sincerely and impulsively invites her to go with him when it’s at all possible, he’ll receive a touching surprise. Knowing at last that he really wants her near him, she’ll lose every trace of her Cancerian possessiveness, and tell him it’s all right, she has lots of things to do while he’s gone, just hurry back home – and she’ll really mean it, because his wanting her has removed all her Lunar fears. Then he may start worrying about why she doesn’t accept his invitation. These two must learn to quit while they’re ahead. Lovers are such strange Earthlings. So contradictory.
There are very few broken Cancer-Libra relationships that can’t be mended and glued back together like new if these two see together, holding hands, Neil Simon’s 1978 film The Goodbye Girl, because the last scene was inspired and channeled by the angels, just for them alone. If they’re reading this a decade or two or more from the time I’m writing it, I’d advise them to rent the film from a film library, then rent a projector or a screening room (or watch it when it’s on their television) and sit through the last scene several times. It contains the complete solution the Cancer woman and the Libra man are seeking – and the only answer they’ll ever need. If they don’t love, they should part quickly and painlessly. If they do, they should see this film and send Neil Simon a dozen daisies and daffodils every year on their anniversary all the rest of their lives together.
With a little help from Cancerian Neil, who understands the nature of Cancerian females, we’ve solved that problem. The next one involves money, and here I refuse to be the arbitrator, except to say briefly to him: Let her have a savings account and a couple of paid-up annuities to keep her happy – and to her: Stop making him feel he’s on the verge of bankruptcy, stop imagining poverty or you’ll manifest it into reality as sure as God made little green apples, as your grandma used to say – and when you do have cash, LET GO OF IT, give large chunks of it away to strangers on the street, yes, I said strangers on the street and don’t faint – and you’ll see it return to you three times over sooner than you dream possible. With all your Cancerian caution, you can’t change that Universal law of giving. How can you prove me wrong if you don’t try it?
The sexual side of their relationship can begin as a gift from the angels too, but it can end with their hearts feeling as empty as they once felt full. The time to prevent such a tragedy is before the curtain rises on it, in the first act of their play. Her seemingly never-ending suspicions may finally drive him into a feeling of futility that can be a prelude to impotence, just as his lack of insight into her deep need for sustained affection and romantic reassurance can drive her into her shell of emotional protection that can harden into frigidity. When they avoid the cause of such a mutually lonely effect by respecting and really thinking about Newton’s law of Cause and Effect, their physical love can be a beautiful experience of gentle passion, the kind of intimacy that makes them tremble just anticipating it in each other’s eyes, and brings them a new peace and contentment every time they rediscover themselves through its ancient alchemy. Sexual union between a man and woman who love is like a remembered melody of inexpressible longing and silent fulfillment that can be wonderfully healing. Unlike many other couples, these two may use poetry as the language of their love. The typical Moon-ruled woman and Venus-ruled man aren’t embarrassed by expressing their feelings in this way, and also music will sometimes intensify the emotional depth of their lovemaking. There are many ways to say I’m sorry… I didn’t mean to hurt you.
The next time he has to leave her for a few days, he might give her a bottle of Je Reviens perfume and a French-English dictionary so she can learn that jereviens means I shall return .. . or maybe a Raggedy Ann, to show her he knows how it is with her inside, how she treasures yesterday because it seems more real and secure to her than today or tomorrow. She’s needed someone to understand this about her since she was a little girl crooning a gentle lullaby to her doll. Then she’ll give him a gift beyond measure – her complete trust.
Now for the good news. They are both sentimental. They’re both wonderfully imaginative, and they both believe in dreams. She has a beautiful sense of humor; he has a beautiful smile. They’re both subject to changing moods, but they’re both also touched by tenderness. Last but not least, the angels fight on their side, for having already been there, they’re well aware of the sacrifice of self involved in climbing the steep hill to happiness required of the 4-10 vibration, yet ever ready to promise that the view from that height is splendid – not a millimeter off center from beautiful.